Thursday, November 13, 2014

Crazy Stuff My Kid Would Buy

Life Size Tyrannosaurus Skeleton available here
So my son Lars is on the phone right now with the customer service representative at Hammacher Schlemmer, discussing shipping arrangements for their life size Tyrannosaurus Rex skeleton replica, available here for discriminating buyers who have $100,000 burning a hole in their pockets, and who live in castles big enough to hold a forty-foot-long dinosaur.  Because in the catalog that came in the mail, it said "Please call and our customer service representatives will gladly answer any questions and provide additional information." 

Well, Lars did have questions, so he called.  Now he knows that the skeleton would get shipped in ten trucks at a cost of roughly a thousand dollars in shipping and handling costs, depending on where the buyer lives.  Hammacher Schlemmer would send workers to assemble the dinosaur skeleton initially into any "anatomically natural" position the buyer wanted.  For instance, you can have your dinosaur posed standing fully upright, as though he was scanning the savannah, or you can have him assembled in a lunging pose, as though he was about to snatch some tasty prey.  If you want your dinosaur moved into a different pose later, they will come out again to do this for you for another thousand dollars.  Lars has also learned that, when you call a catalog that sells six-figure toys, they call you Sir.  Lars likes this.

I think Lars is still on the phone.  I wonder if the customer service guy at Hammacher Schlemmer thinks my son is actually in the market for a $100,000 dinosaur...   

3 comments:

Jenny K. Lyon said...

Okay, I really am ROFL!!

Lara B. said...

You have me laughing so hard that the dogs are alarmed! What a riot Lars is!

greg @ grey dogwood studio said...

Ok, I think it's really cool. Now you need to task him with finding a new home that will hold the dinosaur! (Unless his bedroom is already big enough?!)

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